Personal story about weed, creativity and anxiety/paranoia

Music is precious. Choose wisely what you listen to because it programs your subconscious mind. In the artist world it is well known that drugs can help the creativity of artists. I sometimes use weed for inspiration and deep thought. Now Im at a point where im thinking I dont necessarily need weed to get inspirational or get good idea’s whatsoever. I cant be depended on a substance for me to be able to write and I wont. Wich is why im writing this now completely sober, only with a cop of coffee under my disposal. It’s 2.22 now that im looking at the clock. A beautiful number and a pretty synchronicity with where im at in writing. But yes music works inspirational as well. Just one single sentence from a lyric can have the power to change your whole world. Imagine how powerful words are. I was making ceramic art yesterday and underneath my artwork was a paper with so many little letters it drove me dizzy and a little uncomfortable and axious at times especially when I have smoked weed and im with a lot of people around me and theyre not suppose to know that I have been smoking weed.

It’s like something came and something had to go. With this my laptop (so I can write better) came, and my weed (so I can get ideas what to write about) went. Im living in a community where Im not allowed to smoke weed and the first few days I was here I was like hmm I can do it secretely. But you know what it just doesn’t feel good smoking weed like that because it makes you uncomfortable. And with smoking weed you really have to be comfortable otherwise things can get very uncomfortable, like I had yesterday, I had bad anxiety. If there’s anything fucked up it’s these anxiety attacks. It’s like I dont have my own thoughts under control anymore and they’re very much infused with negativity and fear. It just brought the worse in me and all I then can go do is sleep and hope it wears off in my sleep. And it did, when I woke up all was gone and my head was clear again. And I want to have my head clear for everything I wanna do right now. Im going to be doing alot of cool activities here like; Wavesurfing, Snowboarding, Kitesurfing, Mountainbiking, creative things like drawing, painting and ceramic art and music as Im gonna learn how to play the guitar. And will want to do Yoga to.

Ive been enjoying so much here since the day I got here and I thought to myself do I really need weed that much? And I answered no I dont. Still the weed has a very good effect on me when I dont have reason to feel anxious or uncomfortable and it really does expand the mind. So what I am going to ask is if I am able to smoke weed when I get out of town to maybe a city or have a day out. I can then bring my tablet or phone and work on my blog while im out in the coffeeshop or smoking a joint in the park. Wich I love doing. Or sitting in nature. That’s the good thing about all this technology now a days, that we have our computers in our pockets and we can do the work that needs to be done everywhere we like. This laptop is going to be in my homeplace since it’s pretty big and has a bad battery that is like done in 45 minutes. A sort of writing basement if you will. As I have anounced, I will have to figure out how I can publish my free ebook on this website. Maybe first have to convert it to a pdf file and then I’ll be able to. So then everyone can have a peek in what im all about.

When I was in the coffeeshop yesterday (In Holland the shops where you can buy weed are called coffeeshops) there was this young dude talking in himself about having telepathic communication with someone on the otherside of the planet. And the lady working there was like: “dude are you okay?” And he wasn’t even really responding to her but just kept going. She said she had no idea what he was speaking about as if she had never heard of telepathy. I intervened in the conversation and told him Dont worry I know about telepathy. The dude was maybe 5 years younger than me and  I could see the potential he really had. I just found him being a little too ungrounded wich can happen when you smoke too much weed. Weed is good to dive deep into the mind and explore it and it can work for grounding yourself but then it is a wise thing to do to go into nature and walk barefoot on the beach or in the woods and feel connected to nature, feel one with it. This can be very a very freeing feeling. Weed has a good and a bad side. Always think about your set and setting while you smoke it. Your set is the way you feel inside and how your thinking patterns are going. If you feel really bad or negative chances are high the weed is only going to make it worse. If you feel good from the inside chances are you’re only even gonna feel better. And then the setting: Make sure you’re in an environment where you feel comfortable and at ease. With the right people or all alone that’s up to you.

Weed is great but use it wisely it shouldn’t be messed with!

Sincerely your’s

M<e

 

Een gedachte over “Personal story about weed, creativity and anxiety/paranoia

  1. Yes, creativity is like meditation….you forget the bad in you and gives the positive vibes…Good to hear that it has huge impact on you….

    Geliked door 1 persoon

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